Isn’t it past curfew, little lady?

I went to the Arizona state fair last night. It’s no Great Minnesota Get-Together, that’s for sure. It was still a good time, and Weird Al put on a great performance. That man means business.

I paid for the concert tickets so my date paid for parking, fair entrance, and dinner. We walked up to the ticket window holding hands. The woman behind the glass stood there for a few seconds and I wasn’t sure if she had even seen us. She also seemed like maybe she was stoned.

“Two, please,” he said as we stood next to each other. There was a long pause.

“…what?” she asked, finally making eye contact.

“Two, please. [pause] For the fair…,” he repeated. She glanced at me, then looked back at him.

“Is she a junior?” she asked.


“Oh. Then $24,” and she reached for the money that he had been holding out to her for awhile as I looked up at the ticket prices sign. Adult – $12, Child (5-13) – $6.

Wow. 5-13. Not so much in that age range, what with turning 26 in three weeks and all.

October 17, 2007. Words.


  1. Michael Terry replied:

    Geez, I was just kidding about you being old. You’ve got to admit it’s a little strange for a 13 year old to have an O subscription, though.

    When I was in the 4th grade, Mrs. Mccain was illustrating the new vocabulary. The word was petite.

    “If Michael were[1] a girl, he’d be petite.” Everyone had a good laugh at my expense over this. Mrs. Mccain was instantly sorry and apologized, but I didn’t care. Although I was the smallest in the class, barring 2 girls, it never occurred to me that this was a problem[2]. Being the attention seeker I was, I was happy to be singled out for anything.

    The first time my dad took me out driving, I got pulled over immediately. Can you imagine how scary that was? I was learning on a stick and I thought he was going to cite me for stalling 5 times in the span of a block. Instead, he didn’t believe I was 15 1/2. I also got my first job, at Cruiser’s, about that time, and the other applicants waiting to be interviewed thought I was like 12. Then the owner came out and he thought the same thing. I should have been embarrassed, but instead I was again pretty pleased with the attention. The owner reassured me by saying that some day I was going to be happy about my youthful appearance. He didn’t need to bother, because I’d already considered this.

    In high school, there was a girl in English I’d never had a class with before. Another classmate said something suggesting I was short.

    “Are you short?” she asked, puzzled.

    “Well, no, I’m 5’ 11”, but that just happened recently, so they still remember me as being short.”

    Nowadays, most people still mistake me for being much younger than I am. I teach computers at my mom’s old folks’ home sometimes. The other day I was in the lobby and my mom said, with a big grin, “Mildred[3] thought you were in high school.” Mildred turned to look at me, quick and startled.

    “Well,” she said, her voice rising defensively. She looked at me for a moment, searching for a reason to justify her mistaken impression–maybe I was dressed overly youthfully? But she trailed off…nope, just jeans, t-shirt, and brown boots.

    Later that week, a bunch of kids at the pool thought the same thing. One of the girls, who looked about 12 herself, said, “You look 11.” LOL.

    Anyway, happens weekly. Funnily enough, in addition to genes, I’m pretty fanatical about my athletic training. And, I don’t go in for oxidative pathway training (marothoning, etc; that makes you look old before your time). Instead, I do sprint and power training, which causes you to look, move, and maintain the posture you’re supposed to have.

    You know who looks very young? Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance. I was watching that Teenagers video the other day and I had no idea he’s 30 until I looked it up on Wikipedia. I’d embed the video, but I see you’re using WordPress, and you probaby don’t have the plugin installed to fix that bug.

    Not to go off on a tangent, but I figure by the time I’m old, they’ll be able to extend our lives another 100 years. And by the time I’m 200, maybe they’ll be able to double that. And so on, until we’re able to live forever. We’re living in heady days.
    This puts me in mind of something else, though. Why do folks cryogencially store themsevles after they’re already dead? Shouldn’t you do it when you’re still alive? Moreover, that being the case, wouldn’t the time to freeze yourself be NOW, when you’re still young. Why would want to be resurrected as an oldster? So, the only thing to consider is whether they’ll be able to A) restore you from deep freeze, and B) very significantly extend your lifespan in the future. A’s a no brainer (saw it in South Park) and I’d say B is too. Assuming you’re an atheist, don’t you have to give this deep consideration? Honestly, it’s a small risk for almost certain eternal life–is there really any choice?

    [1] Actually, she probably said “was”, but I’ve helpfully corrected it to the subjunctive in my memory.

    [2] And why would it be? I can only think of 2 good reasons you’d care about your size, sports and girls. For sports, my smallness made me quick. For girls, when you’re that age, you don’t know that they like bigger guys.

    [3] Or Ethel?

  2. Sarah replied:

    I had two people the week before I turned 25 ask me if I was going to turn 30. Fucking bastards.

  3. ZoeJane replied:

    Wow… your post doubled. 😛

  4. admin replied:

    I suppose it’s not ideal to be thought 30 when you’re only 25. (The whole married pregnant thing probably has something to do with their guess.) I don’t know if that’s worse than being thought 12 when you’re almost 26.

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