Oh god it’s true, so true…

The Onion

Friendless Woman Bakes, Gives Away Cookies

HANWICH, PA-Unremarkable Hanwich resident Jean Blomun, a middle-aged single woman without friends, baked nearly three dozen cookies Sunday night, giving them away the next day to co-workers at the office where she has worked unnoticed for years.

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October 23, 2007. Words.


  1. Michael Terry replied:

    Awwww. That’s so sad. Have you ever noticed that humor isn’t nearly as funny when it nicks your own vulnerability? You only laugh along to hide your insecurity[1]. For a split second, you might not even recognize that it’s funny, but then you have to admit it cos the context says otherwise, e.g., you’re watching a sitcom or standup you always find hilarious. Makes you wonder, is every joke here hurting someone like me, piercing some deeply held secret?

    Scott Adams wrote Dilbert for years at his corporate telco job. He said it wasn’t good for his career. Humor is always implied criticism. That’s why liberals can’t see anything funny in an Ann Coulter column and conservatives can’t see anything funny in The Daily Show. If the criticism doesn’t ring true, it’s not funny. It just makes you want to argue.

    My aunt June wouldn’t find this funny at all. She’d laugh, and maybe I’m wrong and she’s good natured enough to not care at this point, but I think it would bother her. She’s like 60 and, well, she’s a devout Mormon and never been married (and if you extrapolate anything from that–you’re right!). Not from lack of interest on the part of guys: She has an attractive, interested personality to go with her hourglass figure. But she was also picky. And devout. Now she has a lot of cats.

    Mabye it’s not the same for her, since it was ultimately her choice. If you’re a homely, dull, middle-aged woman, then it cuts to the quick. Choice and control are so important with people. They did a study where they had two groups try to concentrate on a task while being exposed to loud background noise. One group was told they could control the noise if it got too bad, while the other was told they could not. The group in control performed much better.

    [1] Haha, just kidding, I don’t have any insecurities.

    \—– mwt —–\

  2. admin replied:

    I assumed you meant that your aunt June is gay. Is that not what I was meant to extrapolate?

  3. Michael Terry replied:

    LOL. I know someone who should get a Jump to Conclusions Mat for her birthday. 😉 I guess I left that open to more interpretations than I thought. Definitely not gay, “not that there’s anything wrong with that”. Actually, it’d be great if she were; I don’t have any blood relatives who are gay that I’m aware of.

    No, she likes guys so much that when she was 35 or so, a bunch of 16 year old heroin addicts burglarized her home…and she let them move in! And fell in love with one!

    If you looked at all the clues (Mormon, old, devout, never married, picky about GUYS) I expected you to conclude that she’s, uh, how shall I say? Pure?

    I don’t know, I think it’s crazy. Maybe it’s not, necessarily, but it’s not as if she was an unpopular shut-in or something.

  4. Michael Terry replied:

    NOW why is my comment being moderated? Because it contains the word “gay”?! Jesus.

  5. admin replied:

    I don’t know why it was moderated. Usually it’s only the first time someone comments and after I approve the first time it’s good to go. Maybe I have certain words flagged, I don’t know.

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